


A Theory

by ConfusedMuse



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death Discussion, Episode 22 Aftermath, F/M, Injury, One Shot, Slight ACWNR Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 00:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1367362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedMuse/pseuds/ConfusedMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked like someone on the verge of breaking, if he wasn’t broken already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Theory

**Author's Note:**

> Here's hopefully the first of many Levihan fics! I have a ton of half-finished ones sitting on my hard drive, ahahaha... I've been agonizing over the characterization in this one for months, and it's finally at a point where I'm comfortable with sharing it. If you read it, I hope that you enjoy!

Hanji wandered around headquarters in a daze. It had barely been an hour since they’d returned from their failed mission from beyond the wall. She’d seen some horrible things since joining the Scouting Legion, but this mission had been in a class of its own. This had to be one of the longest days of her life.

She’d deliberately avoided the wagon that carried the bodies, knowing that they’d abandoned some along the way. Hanji didn’t want to know which of her friends hadn’t made it all the way home. She’d decided to help with the horses instead, but after staring into space for longer than she’d realized— _the female titan was similar in size to Eren, but completely outclassed him in power and skill, perhaps because she had more practice, but—_ Moblit had gently taken the horse’s reins from her and told her to get some rest. However, Hanji knew better than to go back to her room alone. At least, not yet. Only her inner demons, self-doubt, and the mind’s strange tendency to replay horrible events waited for her there. So she’d started walking around headquarters, mostly to distract herself.

It wasn’t working.

Hanji kept running their plan through her mind, obsessing over every detail, futilely trying to guess if there had been a way to see this coming, if they could've prevented more deaths. What if they'd dropped the spike nets around the area after the female titan had been captured? What if they'd reacted faster to the incoming Titans? What if they'd severed the female titan’s tendons right away, with the explosives at the ready? What if, what if, what if.

But all that thinking only further cemented her despair. All of the losses had been hard, but four in particular burned the worst. Levi's squad members had been her friends too. Her vision started to fog up. Hanji tried to blink back the tears, a hand over her mouth. Maybe it was time to head back after all—

Someone ran into Hanji as she turned a corner. Even though she hadn't hit them that hard, Hanji was knocked backwards a couple steps. “Sorry—”

"Watch where you're going, shitty glasses.”

Hanji blinked, finally knocked out her repeating loop of depressing thoughts. Levi stood in front of her, scowling up at Hanji in the same way he always did. A lump rose in Hanji’s throat. She’d heard some whisperings in the stables earlier, that a man had introduced himself to Levi as Petra’s father, that Levi had been the one to tell him that his daughter wasn’t coming back. He had to be hurting. If it had been her squad—No, she didn't even want to think about—

"Tch." Levi's eyes narrowed, and he walked around her. "If you’re not going to say anything, then go take up space somewhere else."

It was the same old Levi, like nothing had happened. Hanji stared after him. Something was wrong here. She roughly wiped away the tears in her eyes and turned around with a smile. “Sorry!” Hanji said again in a sing-song tone. "It's just a lot to think about, you know?" 

Levi didn't answer. Hanji ran down the hallway a little to catch up with him, slowing down once she got a few steps behind. She wasn’t going to leave Levi alone until she found out why he was acting this way. ”All those Titans today…” Hanji continued, seeing if he would bite. “Have you ever seen that many in one group like that?"

"I'm not replacing your shitty experiment Titans."

It was something. Hanji took it. "I didn't even say anything about that!"

"You would've sooner or later. And the answer is still no." Levi looked over his shoulder at her and Hanji gave him her best pout. 

"But Levi,” she whined, drawing out his name, “How am I supposed to study the potential social habits of Titans without some test samples?"

"Not my problem.” Levi turned, starting up the stairway. 

Hanji ran past him up the stairs, stopping at the first landing to wait for him to catch up. She clasped her hands behind her, kicking at the floor. “Maybe if I ask Erwin nicely, he'll let me try something with Eren," she said. Was it just her imagination, or was it taking Levi longer to walk up the stairs than it normally did? Hanji moved her hands behind her head. If she was going to get anything out of him, she needed to probe a little deeper.

“How’s he holding up? After…you know.” Hanji bit the inside of her lip, wondering if that was too far too soon.

"I left him with the gloomy brat and bowl-cut brain," Levi said, finally making it to the landing. 

Hanji whistled. "That's nice of you. So no Titan dungeon tonight?"

That earned her another half-lidded glare. Hanji laughed and ran ahead again, taking the steps two at a time. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You can do what you want.” She could hear his boots tapping on the steps behind her. “Although,” Hanji continued, “If I were in charge of him, things would be a little different.”

“If you were in charge of him, then the brat wouldn’t still be in one pi—” 

Levi’s voice was cut off by a scraping sound, followed a split-second later by the horrible smack of flesh on stone. Hanji spun around to see the last second of Levi’s tumble down the stairs. It left him crumpled on the first landing, his ankle pointing in an odd direction. _“Levi!”_

By the time she’d reached him, Levi had pushed himself up, his back against the wall. His jaw was set, pain replacing his usual mask of general disdain. Hanji dropped to her knees, reaching out to examine his ankle. It looked like a break, but she couldn’t be sure until—

Levi pulled away from her with a hiss. “Don’t touch me,” he spat out.

Hanji raised her hands in the air in surrender, biting her lip. Levi looked away from her, breathing between clenched teeth and gripping his leg as if stopping the blood circulation would also stop the pain. But something else was off, although Hanji couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She tried reaching for his leg again once his breathing had slowed a bit, but he pulled it away from her once more. _“What did I just say?”_ Levi yelled.

Their eyes met. He looked like someone on the verge of breaking, if he wasn’t broken already. 

Hanji remembered a moment from several years before, in the aftermath of a mission a lot like this one. She’d barely known him but had been sent to the barracks to check on him anyway. The sight of him dripping wet from the rain and staring at an empty bunk bed had made her think that it would be cruel to intrude on his grief. In the end, she’d never made it past the doorway. This time, it would be impossible to just walk away. She knew him too well now to leave him alone.

Hanji's eyes scanned his leg again, sucking in her lips as she realized something. If he'd hurt his ankle falling down the stairs, then judging by the way he’d fallen, it wouldn’t have twisted that way. Which meant—

“Levi.” Hanji’s tone was even, like she was simply giving out an order. “How long have you been walking on that?”

He glared at her through his bangs. 

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” she continued. “The bone should’ve been set a long time ago.” Looking for the third time, Hanji saw what looked like the edges of a makeshift splint shoved into his boot leg. There was an obvious crack in the middle. 

“I’m not a fucking toddler, four eyes. I can take care of myself.” 

He’d been standing strangely when he’d brought Eren back covered in Titan saliva, but Hanji had forgotten about it in the general chaos of caring for the wounded and the shock that, no, the rest of the Special Operations Squad hadn’t made it back. Hanji could feel frustration rising up now, eating through her worry like flame through dry wood, mad at herself for not asking him about it when she’d had the chance, mad for pretending along with him that everything was fine when it wasn’t, mad that she’d been too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice that the person she’d fought alongside for the last six years was badly hiding a broken leg—

Levi pushed himself away from Hanji again, the heel of his injured foot scraping across the landing and causing him to clench his teeth tighter. “It’s my own fault anyway,” he said after catching his breath. “I fucked up and I have to deal with it.”

And then Hanji understood. She couldn’t blame him. If the tables were turned, she’d feel the same way. Hanji pulled back, sitting on the next step up from the landing, watching him for a moment before trying again, softer this time. “It wasn’t your fault, Levi.”

Levi took a few more breaths. “They were my squad,” he replied. The unspoken understanding hung in the air between them: _It’s always your fault when something happens to your squad._

Hanji folded her hands in front of her, her eyes staring at the molding between the stone bricks at her feet. “Hey, Levi. Want to hear a theory?”

“Tch. Taking advantage of a captive audience to spew your crap again?”

She smiled a little at that. “No, not Titans. We can talk about those later.” Hanji craned her head back, looking at the sloped ceiling. “My theory is that if your squad was here, then they wouldn’t leave you alone either.”

Hanji paused. Silence. She continued.

“Gunther would’ve already found the doctor. And Erd would carry you out of here, no matter what you said. Petra would be the most worried, but she’d try to cover it up by asking you a ton of different questions about how you feel, where it hurts, all that stuff. Aruro would try to cheer everyone up with his bravado routine, but it wouldn’t work. Petra would hit him. Gunther and Erd would laugh. Something like that.” Hanji looked back down. “Am I close?”

Levi’s eyes seemed even more deep-set than they had been a few minutes ago, like he was looking at something very far away. Hanji swore internally, convinced that she’d screwed up somehow. Then she noticed that his shoulders weren’t as tense as they’d been before, and his grip on his knee had loosened a little. As Hanji watched, the look in his eyes changed little by little, like he was coming up from somewhere deep underwater. A few seconds later, Levi was staring at her with a half-sneer.

“You’re fucking creepy, four-eyes.”

Hanji smiled, cupping her chin in her hands. “I’m a scientist. Making guesses based on observations is my job.”

Levi sighed, unconsciously pulling his legs closer to him until his heel dragged on the floor again and he flinched. Hanji moved from her spot on the step and squatted next to him. “Ready to let someone fix that?” she asked.

He nodded, and Hanji took one of his arms and wrapped it around her shoulders. But before she could lift him to his feet, Levi had grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close to him. Hanji felt his hands knot into her uniform jacket, Levi’s face pressing into her chest as he sighed deeply, shuddering a little. 

Hanji was at a loss. She was half-sitting in his lap, hands hovering in midair, trying to think of what to do but coming up empty. Levi had never gotten this close to her before, let alone _hugged_ her. Did he have some kind of brain injury as well? 

Levi drew his arms tighter around her, leaning away from the wall and into her. As surprising and confusing as this was, and even despite the circumstances, Hanji had to admit that it felt nice, him holding her. Hanji tentatively patted Levi’s head. When he didn’t immediately back away, she wrapped her arms around him too, tracing the embroidery of the patch on his back.

A minute passed, and Levi broke away first, scowling. “You smell like shit.”

Hanji lifted an eyebrow at him. “All this time, and you still don’t like the smell of Titans?”

“Only a fucking weirdo like you would want to smell like that.”

She laughed, grabbing his wrist and readjusting it across her shoulders. “Let’s get out of here already.”

“Hanji.” 

Levi’s tone was serious enough to make her turn her head. “What?”

“You’re not allowed to die before me.”

Had his eyes always been that blue? Hanji wasn’t sure if she’d noticed before. But past that, she could see that he’d meant what he’d said. Hanji had to look away before answering. “I can’t promise that,” she said with a wry smile. “But I’ll try.”

She pulled him to his feet, putting her other arm around his back when he stumbled a bit. “Maybe I should carry you instead, princess,” Hanji laughed.

“Not if you still want legs,” Levi retorted.

Still giggling a little to herself, Hanji helped him down the first step, and then another, Levi hopping awkwardly on one foot. “You know, you can lean on me a bit more if you want,” Hanji said.

Levi muttered something, but he did press a bit more into her side on the next step down. Hanji tightened her grip on his wrist, and didn’t let go until they’d made it all the way to the doctor.


End file.
